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Friday, September 01, 2006

How well do you know yourself?

I was doing my usual deep thinking in the shower this morning (don't laugh), and I realized that finally, at this age (47 in January) I really do know myself pretty well...and that's comforting.

I realize it's hard to get to know people when you communicate mostly with them on-line, so what I thought I would do is write today a bit about *me* as *I* see myself.

First off, I'm very honest...almost to a fault. Sometimes, I probably say things I shouldn't. I don't like anyone to be the boss of me. I know what I want, and I don't want anyone else to try and influence me. I like to know what's happening in the world and with my friends, but I don't want to be in the middle of anything. I'd be happy to give you my opinion on something if I think it will be of value to you. I know that life is not a fairy tale. There are days when it all comes crashing down around me, and I can cry and vent about it. There are days when I know why I'm here and mostly those are the kind of days I have. I am a very lazy person, but an incredibly hard worker. If I know something needs to get done, I don't procrastinate. However, when it comes to my art...I can wait until it calls to me. I don't want any help in creating my art. I want it to be all me. I can drown in color...I love it so much. I think about color all the time. I'm very stubborn. My kids are keeping me young. I don't feel my age at all. I admit to being a little vain. I like looking at good-looking people. Art is everywhere, playing an instrument, writing a song or a book, singing, painting, dancing...it's all art and it all speaks to me. I feel lucky to have been able to *find* myself. I knew I was here all along... *sigh* Thank G-d for my husband. He really has no idea what he has allowed me to do these past few years. He's let me do my thing, even though he obviously feels pressure bringing home almost all the bacon. What I make with my art is really just enough to know that people like my stuff...so i just keep plugging along. It does get lonely here at home sometimes, but I know my best art is yet to come...it's there inside of me, just shouting at me every day wanting to get out. I don't know if all of this rambling is making a lick of sense, but it feels good. After my shower tomorrow...I may know even more about myself. I'll let ya know :o)

2 comments:

Kathi said...

thank you for sharing an intimate part of you Barb.

Michelle P said...

Just stopped by to look at your work and popped in to learn a bit more about you.

I recently wrote a list of 100 things about me (a friend suggested I do it) and I was surprised to know that, I too, really know myself. It was very reaffirming that after 38 years I actually know something!!!

Incidentally, I do all my best thinking in the shower or when I'm working on clay!